I try to avoid general ranting and raving. This is really neither the time nor place for it. Alas, I've got some good old fashioned bitching to do. It will only take a second. 

First, Mother Nature:

What the eff? Snow today? Really? It's Spring Break and I get snow? You give me beautiful pink flowering trees and woo me with soft spring sunshine and a gentle warm breeze and then you blast me with 32 degrees and snow? I hate you.

I guess these cute shoes I just bought will have to wait until it creeps above 50. Little help here please, Mother.


Second, Bad Parkers:

Learn how to park your gigantic, gas-guzzling SUV a little bit better than this please. Seriously? This is the best you could do? Don't worry about taking up two entire spaces, I'm sure the three thousand other vehicles can find another place to park seeing as you need two spots all for yourself. And off the record, you should not be barefoot walking around a school in March, or any other time for that matter. (No picture of barefoot sasquatch available)


Third, the makers of Tylenol PM:

Could you please put a little more sleepy drug in each little pill. I'm not asking for much more, but as a chronic insomniac who eschews other tranqulizers, such as the ever-popular Ambien, I would prefer to take just one magic, little blue pill and fall into an immediate sleep. During which I hope to dream about Bruce winking at me during the show and then inviting me up onstage to play the tambourine or maybe the cowbell. 

I do very much like the rapid release pills as well as the vanilla flavor. Thank you for that. But please, more sleepy magic.

Fourth, Tom Petty:

If your DVD wasn't so damn good, I might make it to bed at a decent hour, therefore requiring less sleepy magic from Mr. Tylenol PM. I've watched it about 40 times now. I have it memorized. My children groan and slam their bedroom doors when I put you in the DVD player. Oh, sweet Tom, I'm counting the days til I see you at the Gorge this summer. Dear Tom, I wish i could quit you!



Lastly, the State of Oregon:

Could you possibly take any longer to process a child support check? I should wait 7-10 days? Really? Don't give me that crap about a 24 hour turn around time. That's a crock. And I would prefer that you send me the full amount that was sent to you by my ex, not less than one quarter of the amount. Can we keep the "accounting errors" to a minimum, please? I honestly think my children deserve it. 

(PS- please notice that I am not bashing my ex in the least. He's a fantastic father and a wonderful ex-husband- I think a better ex-husband than actual husband. When he sends a check to the state, I think I should have it by, oh, say, three business days later. Is that too much to ask?)


It turns out I'm not the only one that gets angry.

Iris gets mad when people ask her for her phone number when she's buying shoes.

LK, in addition to being mad at me half the time, hates pretty much everyone and everything. Kidding. Just most people.

Mr. Burns, Program Director, hates people who misspell words and put incorrect information on the website.

Shannon's off this week so I'm not sure what makes him mad. Probably riding his bike in the rain.

That's all for now. Thanks for listening to my rants. If you would like me to be angry at you,  just give me a shout, alinford@entercom.com.