So first let me tell you a little bit about Smarta. She is smart, beautiful, an amazing dresser, always has a smile on her face (even when she's telling you that you've been parking in her reserved spot for the last month) she is so far ahead of the rest of the marketing world that this entire department has rented speed bikes just to keep up.
All the women want to BE her and all the men want to date her.
Our promotions department has a big meeting with her once every two weeks and it's like the holy grail. We dress nice, we bring snacks, we bring our best possible work to the table, we are completely silent whenever she speaks. We basically sit in awe and relish every second of face time we have with her.
So with all of these flowery feelings towards her- and the fact that I myself parked in her spot for a month straight- one can easily see why I want to come to her rescue and keep people out of her parking spot.
In the past, when I have noticed someone parking in her spot, I have immediately tracked down the culprit and demanded, in the name of all things holy, that they move their car immediately. I have even staked out the parking lot, lying in wait, to see who's car it is.
I have exchanged emails with Smarta several times. I let her know the names of the individuals parked in her spot and that I have instructed them to move. Once, this lame dude from coporate actually didn't listen to me and parked in her spot AGAIN the very next day. I emailed Smarta my solution, which may have involved paintguns, toilet paper, Saran wrap and/or dog poo, and the possibility of this turning into an episode of workplace violence for which I may find myself fired, to which she replied, "Amy, I appreciate your vigilance (read vigilante-ism) but why don't we go ahead and let human resources handle this." Um, OK, Smarta, you're right, as usual.
So finally, after months of watching this parking lot space theft continue, I decided to take pictures of the offending vehicles.
Day 1:
Day 2:
Day 3:
Day 4:
As you can see, I could go on and on. Alas, I have decided that the space is not marked well enough for people to realize that the space is actually reserved. In my infinite wisdom, I have devised a plan to help people notice that the space is indeed reserved.
This plan must be carried out under a cloak of darkness and privacy.
Check back next week and view the results of my sneaky little plan-a-roo!
And if I find myself without a job next week, please email Mr. Burns and demand my reinstatement. If I print his email, I will be let go for sure so just use your best judgement when searching for his email address on KGON.com.
