So, Mr burns is our Program Director at KGON, (you can see his manly A to Z list on the A to Z page. He's not really like Mr. Burns, he won't release the hounds or anything, we just thought it was funny to call him that). He is my boss's boss, and the boss all of the other Program Directors in the building. Suffice to say, he is about 15 tiers higher than me on the totem pole. He's like, the VP of the building. Or something like that.

Since I started here last February, I have had maybe 5 conversations with him. Even though I have a meeting with him and everyone else from KGON every Wednesday morning at 9:30, I still rarely speak to the man. He's always in meetings, briefcase in hand, dashing back and forth. I am barely a speck on his radar.

The longest conversation I had with him, aside from the "Hi, how are you, who are you?" when I was hired, was a month after I was hired and I scraped the KGON Expedition on a pole outside the Rose Garden. I'm in his office, stumbling and mumbling about how sorry I am and how my insurance can pay for it and how the pole literally came out of nowhere. The only thing he said to me was, "Are you alright? You weren't hurt were you?"

"No." I replied, and began apologizing again. He waved his hands around, as if to shoo me out of his office, and said, "Don't worry about it. That's what insurance is for. We'll take care of it, just glad you're not hurt."

So, that very day I learned that not only is he the VP of Everything, but he's actually kinda cool. I doubt my own father would have had that kind-hearted reaction.

Then, a few weeks ago, Mr. Burns seems to take a great interest in our website. All of a sudden, I'm getting little email missives from him about small misspellings in the content. First it was Zeppelin, as in the Led type. Then it was Vaughan, as in Stevie Ray.

I consider myself a pretty good speller, above average actually, so having to be told to correct my spelling errors by the big boss, my boss's boss, the boss of God and everyone, was quite embarrassing. And then, it seemed to be happening on an almost daily basis.

Here comes Mr. Burns, standing outside my cubicle, telling me to change the spelling of some obscure word or to capitalize Workforce and KGON and to put a colon after this or that. The man's got some smarts. I figured he was too busy to sweat the small details. Being that his job duties were just increased due to a little personnel "shuffling," I assumed that he might be too busy to be checking my spelling. Apparently not.

So now, it's my goal to make it one entire week without him sending me a spelling or grammar correction.

Wrong again. This morning I get this email from him, "Click here to see what the listeners want to HEAR, not here."

Not only are my spelling skills in question, but my grammar is sadly lacking as well. Rather publicly.

I think Mr. Burns must be like me. I tend to judge people, quite harshly, by how they spell. Which brings me to the different types of bad spellers.

The first group of bad spellers are the worst offenders, hopeless and brainless, and not worth associating with. I had a boyfriend once that sent me a letter saying how he "couldn't wait for me to meat his parents." I love these text messages that I get on a regular basis: "Mabey, I'll let ya know." Or, "What are you up too?" "Good Knight." I'm not kidding. I have gotten all of those via text. These types will never learn.

Then there are spellers who spell good but not perfect. Words like unfortunate, separate, definitely, and sincerely are easy to misspell and I always give those spellers a second chance. Also in this category, but just barely, are the words that sound the same but have different meanings and spellings, or homonyms. Heterographic examples include to, too, two, and there, their, they’re. (I stole that from Wikipedia) I will only forgive misusing their, there and they're once or twice before you are grouped in with the dolts.

There are also straight up typos. "Hey, thakns! See ya soon." Or, "Joe is form Vancouver, WA." I can totally forgive that. Just a small slip of the finger, no missing brain parts. And I actually do it all the time, just look around the website.

I would like to blame all my little misspellings on the fact that I cut and paste just about everything that I put on the website from an outside source, ie. someone else wrote it and I pasted it somewhere on the site. I doubt Mr. Burns would accept that excuse and it really isn't all that valid, seeing as every program has spellcheck somewhere.

I'm sure Mr. Burns is lurking in his office right now, in between the 38 hours of meetings that he has each week, just waiting for my next spelling error on the site. I like it better when he walks right up to my cubicle and loudly explains, for all my co-workers to hear, that I spelled "Schitzoid Man" wrong, or "Abracadabra."

Maybe I should just utilize the spellcheck function?