Alrighty, folks......here we go....

I'm going to give you the bottom line right up front. No beating around the bush or making you read long-winded, although usually hilarious, blogs. Here it is: Van Halen was great. They were really good. They were everything I expected of them that evening. 

Let's get to Bobblehead Dave. Was it just me or did have have an odd, fixated open-mouthed grin on his face the entire show? (see any photo of Dave and the band taken in the last two months and you'll see what I mean.) And what was with that wierd bobble-headedness? Not trying to offend anyone with Parkinson's but did he just develope this? Wow. Shake and bake, brotha! Hey his vocals were decent. I don't think he "forgot" the words to any of the songs but he sure sang them to his own tune, sort of like a new take on some of the songs, especially Jump. There was the band playing the song and the there was Dave, just singin to his own beat. I'm not talking Ozzy Osbourne own beat style, but certainly a little more, shall we say...off?

And let's talk about the band. Eddie. Wow. Not an ounce of body fat on the man. Yum. He was shreddin'! The 20 minute guitar solo, which had the entire arena screaming in delight, was a little long. Oh, don't skewer me, I'm a girl and guitar solo's are boy things. I got up to get a drink during his guitar solo, but thanks to all of our capital D-RUNK VH fans, the entire Garden had been cut off before 9:30 pm that night! Considering VH took the stage at exactly 8:50 pm, making it until 10:30 without a tasty beverage was hard for me, and many others because I asked around the last two days. I thought maybe it had been only me cut off. Nope, it was everyone. Sources from the venue confirmed that beverage service had been cut off early due to "the rabid fans enjoying themselves immensely." Way to go, everyone!

And here's my cupcake: Wolfgang stole the show! Is he not the cutest most adorable 16 year old to ever take the stage! Singing back up like nobody's business, sharin' the mike with papa bear, oh man! Is that kid gonna have some stories when he grows up! If I were Valerie Bertinelli, I would hire someone to watch that boy 24/7 on this tour! Seriously, the kid was great. He fell down at one point, when trying some acrobatic-lean back-bass-player-is-rocking-out stance, but the spotlight cut off straight away and you had to be REALLY paying attention to have caught it. I did not catch it but Marty Party did. Im surpried we could see anything, as Marty and I had this awesome view from the 300 level!

I actually took notes on my cell phone the whole time so I could regurgitate the set list for you guys. I predicted an opening song of "Runnin With the Devil," which my backstage source confirmed and then happened to be very wrong. I even went as far as to give my prediction live on air with Marty Party at the pre-show party only to be proven wrong when they opened with the old stand-by Kinks cover, "Girl, You Really Got me Goin." But they did all their good stuff: "Cradle Will Rock," "Jamie's Cryin," "Pretty Woman," "Beautiful Girls," "Dance the Night Away," blah blah blah. "Hot for Teacher" was just ok. "I'll Wait" was interesting as there were no keyboards in sight. An extremely long intro by Dave to "Ice Cream Man" totally lost me and I had never heard "Etch a Scetch."

All in all, I think they gave Portland exactly what Portland wanted: a good night of classic rock and roll and a great reason to get shit-faced! I have heard mostly great reviews from people here in the building and people I've talked to on the street. Oh, here's a great quote, pulled directly out of an email sent to me today from a certain industry person currently on vacation in Hawaii: "David Lee is for sure a big queen, I cannot believe he considers himself a rock god and wears a fa**y Ziegfried & Roy jacket - Vegas style. And "bobblehead" is the right word - he had this weird fixated smiley grin, like he was mugging for the camera - he was too weird! Good rock show, every song sounded the same, I was done in 35 minutes!" Alrighty then!

Dave's jacket was very Seigfried and Roy. He even changed to a black and white version of the same jacket later in the show, which looked like something I might purchase for myself at White House/Black Market. He did strut around like a peacock, kicking his legendary high kicks. Kinda girly? Queenish? Sure. Maybe Dave should check his pants and see if he grew a vagina next to his man parts?

I just checked my notes again to see if I left anything out and my only questions are why was the stage in the shape of an S and not V? And what was with the blown up gigantic microphone balloon bouncing around for the last few songs? Was Dave supposed to mount it and ride this large phallic around?

I thought the pre-show party was great! We had a huge TV Mobile Media Van outside thanks to our friends at All Points Media. We played our one TV commercial over and over, but it's to the tune of "We will Rock You" by Queen which really gets me in the mood! The place was packed, the bar lines were long and Marty and I had a great time with the crowd as we broadcasted live from our Lay Z Boy lounge. I asked people what they thought the opening song would be and got varied answers, mostly the song they actually did open with. Thanks, You Tube. I got some cool pics of people dancing and such. It was fun and I can't wait to do it again at Bruce Springsteen! 

There's me and Marty in the lounge and next to that is listener Ken who lined up outside in the freezing rain and cold at 3pm with his wife Sandy so he could be first in line. Of course we let him in early to help us hang up banners.


Great show. Happy they came and I saw. They didn't blow my socks off like TSO did but I got what I wanted. You? Email me and let me know: alinford@entercom.com.

And thanks to Chuck from St. Helens who just emailed me an told me, "...you're a company suck up or 2 this was your first Van Halen show and you have nothing to judge by. I have seen them three time and this show was by far the worst show I have ever seen. I sure do miss micheal on base and his voice too.the little momma's boy was a poor replacement with no stage presents.I can't think of one song that was not poorly done.jamies crying allmost made me cry on how bad it sounded.They needed to pass around some joints for this show.I want my money Back." 

I rewarded Chuck for his opinion, misspelled words and all, by sending him a little prize from our KGON prize closet. Thanks for listening and readin, Chuck!

And you know what, Kingsella? You may think I "missed the mark" on my VH review, but that's why it's called "AMY'S REVIEW" and not "KINGSELLA'S!"